Friday, 14 October 2016

Approval


He asked me why my need for approval is so important? Why am I obsessed with being accepted by everybody, appreciated even. Why does it bother me to death when somebody speaks ill of me or judges me?
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What could I say? Before this day, I'd never realized my craving for approval. I don't come from a dysfunctional family. My parents love me and have always had my back. I had the best of what they could provide, and most of the times, it was much more than I could ask for. They never said no to things that mattered to me, in fact they tried to understand my point of view even when they rigidly were against it. They accept me for who I am. They respect my thoughts, opinions, and views. Family is not the etiology here.
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So I've been asking myself innumerable times after he first posed the question that summer night, why is my need for approval so important? Why can I not come to terms with the fact that not all people are going to like me. I question myself every time somebody is mean to me or when they exploit my goodwill or when I'm alone at night counting back names of all the people who don't hold a good opinion of me. How does it matter? I know it doesn't. I know it doesn't. I wish I knew it doesn't.

Picture Courtesy tumblr.

2 comments:

  1. Its a phase, love. At least, for me it was. I stayed up entire nights back when I was in college trying to understand why some people seemed to hate me for no fault of mine. Now I have made my peace with it. While I AM difficult to properly love, I get along with most people and when I don't I put it down to the fact that not one single human being is like any other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really hope it's a phase and that with time I'll be able to make my peace with it. Thank you, PV. As corny as it sounds, you give me hope, so thank you. Really.

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