Approval

He asked me why my need for approval is so important? Why am I obsessed with being accepted by everybody, appreciated even. Why does it bother me to death when somebody speaks ill of me or judges me?
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What could I say? Before this day, I'd never realized my craving for approval. I don't come from a dysfunctional family. My parents love me and have always had my back. I had the best of what they could provide, and most of the times, it was much more than I could ask for. They never said no to things that mattered to me, in fact they tried to understand my point of view even when they rigidly were against it. They accept me for who I am. They respect my thoughts, opinions, and views. Family is not the etiology here.
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So I've been asking myself innumerable times after he first posed the question that summer night, why is my need for approval so important? Why can I not come to terms with the fact that not all people are going to like me. I question myself every time somebody is mean to me or when they exploit my goodwill or when I'm alone at night counting back names of all the people who don't hold a good opinion of me. How does it matter? I know it doesn't. I know it doesn't. I wish I knew it doesn't.

September Wrap Up

Turns out juggling final year of medicine and book challenges is harder than you'd imagine. Wait, I'm sure you know it's hard, that was just me trying to be all naive and freakishly optimistic.

Ahh well, although the number of books I've been able to read this year is getting meagre by the day, I'm still proud of the fact that I'm squeezing enough time to read. Yes, I've reached a place where reading for at least 15mins a day has become a luxury, so let's not talk about numbers, shall we?

FYI, that's not a building, it's a pile of books

If you must know, I've read 25 books so far, 5 in September. That's a good enough number for now. And because I find 5 an exceedingly above average number, a wrap-up post seemed like a sane thing to do. Here are my Hum Panch of September:

1) Harry Potter and The Cursed Child by J.K.Rowling: Yes, I joined the party pretty late, at least I arrived (despite the mixed reviews and spoilers), that must count for something. 10 points to Hufflepuff, please (for being the loyal ones). I can sum up my Cursed Child experience in one word, and mind you, I've chosen the word as carefully as Voldy chose jewellery for his horcruxes, and that word is underwhelming. As I've already established, I'm a hardcore Hufflepuff, so my loyalties to Hogwarts, to JKR, to all the characters is preventing me from openly expressing my umm..disappointment? But my lovely Slytherin mate Varsha has reviewed this book over at Fictional Fortress (a book club-blog we run) and I found myself nodding to all of her views and commas and full stops. You can check it out here if you're interested. A 3/5 from me.

A photo posted by Shonazee (@ofinkandpages) on Sep 5, 2016 at 9:53pm PDT

The next three reads were for #MissMarpleReadathon, an exclusive Agatha Christie-MissMarple readathon, started by fellow Hyderabadi Bookstagrammers in an attempt to make me fall in love with the Queen Of Mystery. It has no deadlines, whatsoever. Whenever you're feeling low, in need for some fast paced action, just pick a Miss Marple mystery and join us!

2) The Murder At The Vicarage by Agatha Christie: I was sold after reading this book. It was so different from all the thrillers and murder mysteries I've read. I heart the climax, I would give it the best climax award if I could. The murder of the not-at-all-loved-unanimously-hated/tolerated Colonel Protheroe occurs in an otherwise dull village of St.Mary Mead. Many people seem to have a motive, but there isn't enough evidence. A series of false arrests. Who killed Protheroe? A 4/5 read.

A photo posted by Shonazee (@ofinkandpages) on Sep 12, 2016 at 11:20am PDT

3) The 13 Problems by Agatha Christie: One Tuesday, a mix of experienced, young, influential people gather at Miss Marple residence to discuss murder mysteries. One person narrates what has happened and others are to guess the answer. Miss Marple shocks them all by making back to back right guesses. Some of these are such mind-boggling mysteries, they will leave you numb. It basically is a collection of 13 short stories. another 4/5 read.

4)The Body In The Library by Agatha Christie: I couldn't guess the culprit. I just couldn't. But some how the end seemed way too far fetched. But hey, it makes good mystery so no complaints. 3/5.

A photo posted by Shonazee (@ofinkandpages) on Sep 20, 2016 at 8:48am PDT 

Yes, I get most of my reading done while travelling 

5) Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur:A collection of poems compiled under four headers, loving, hurting, breaking, and healing. These poems are raw with emotion. They are accompanied by rough sketches drawn by Rupi Kaur herself. I just love it. I love all the poems and the sketches, the raw emotions, and the crisp words. I've bookmarked several pages and highlighted what's remaining. I've read them so many times, I can eloquently quote the book. They are written in a very simple language but carry such force within them. If you're looking to indulge in poetry, this makes a fine start. A must read. Definitely my FAV read of this month. 5/5.

A photo posted by Shonazee (@ofinkandpages) on Oct 4, 2016 at 1:32pm PDT

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 That's that. Overall, a good reading month, I daresay.

For lengthy reviews or a peek at my tbr, friend me on Goodreads or Instagram. We could talk about murder mysteries or the pain of losing a loved one or the disappointment of a long-awaited book in your beloved series. I'm always up for a good talk!

What books made to your favourite pile this September? Which book/movie would you give best climax award to? 

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